I feel like I should explain a little bit about our roommate, who, as previously stated, shall remain nameless. Let it suffice to say, when he and BearFace finish their training at the police academy in December, he will also be a NJ game warden. Let’s call him RoomDog. (Disclaimer: No connection to the movie Slumdog Millionaire. He is not a millionaire, nor is he from India.)
All three of us moved in on the same day, and things started out swimmingly. I hopefully imagined that we would all be friends, seeing as how none of us knew anyone else in the area. I saw myself cooking “family” dinners, going grocery shopping together, and hanging out on the weekends. Ok, maybe I went a little too far. But you get the picture.
This delusional vision went out the window about 6 hours after we moved in. Drew and I had to do some grocery shopping since we had basically only condiments and beverages in the fridge. We asked RoomDog if he wanted to come with us. He said, “Sure, but why don’t I take my car and follow you guys?” WHAT?? Soooo you’re not going to come with us. You’re going to drive to the same place we are going in your own car at the same time. (Waste of gas if you ask me!) So he’s not particularly friendly.
And things have been getting weirder…I started to suspect that he eats in the bathroom. First, there were banana peels in the bathroom trash. This is a problem because: A) The trash can does not have a lid and we have a curious and not always well-behaved dog. B) Who wants to not only see, but also smell, a rotten banana at 6 am?? C) THERE WAS A FRUIT FLY WATCHING ME SHOWER. Unacceptable. But ok, maybe he was throwing it out on his way to the kitchen. Next, there was a bowl on the toilet seat one morning. Nothing in it. Suspicious. And finally, today it was confirmed. THERE WAS CORN IN THE SHOWER. Not a whole lot; just one kernel. But it was there. In the shower. WHO DOES THAT?!?
Anyway, moving on before I get all worked up and start throwing food at him…today was just a typical Tuesday here at the ranch. Slept in (hah—if you could call 7:15 sleeping in!) since I am off Tuesdays. Then found out my riding lesson was cancelled on account of rain. Which left me extra time to CLEAN!!! I love cleaning. Tuesdays are my cleaning day, since I am home alone and no one is there to make messes or judge my crazed cleaning habits. The whole house gets vacuumed, dusted, Lysoled, and Windexed. Fairly standard. But then there’s also this.
Things I regularly clean that make the average person think I am a crazy:
- My shower curtain—Come on, shower curtains are gross. They hide things. Like shaving cream. And serial killers.
- The dish rack and drainboard—Judge me if you want, but when was the last time you cleaned your’s? I bet it’s gross!
- My vacuum cleaner—Yes, I also clean my cleaning products.
- The front of my stainless steel refrigerator—Don’t want no fingerprints on that guy!
- My dog’s dishes—No, he does not care if they are dirty.
Speaking of Murphles, he hates cleaning day! Not only does he have to protect me from the vacuum cleaner, but he also gets very irritated when I won’t stay in one place for more than 5 minutes at a time. So I decided to reward him with a trip to Fort Mott. Where we encountered a pterodactyl.
(The picture quality isn’t great…I couldn’t get too close and I only had my iPhone!)
Ok, so maybe it wasn’t a pterodactyl, and maybe the picture doesn’t do justice to its size, but let me just say I thought it was a boulder at first. When I showed BearFace (my personal wildlife expert) the picture, he suspected it was a juvenile bald eagle. Upon looking it up, I was able to confirm that it was probably a 2 year old bald eagle. HOW COOL! I’ve never seen one that close, and was shocked by it’s size!
Adventure of the day completed, Murph and I headed home to cook dinner. On the menu tonight:
The only thing I changed was the sauce. I had some Asian Chili Garlic sauce left in the fridge from another meal, so I used that instead. If you don’t like spicy, go with the Sweet Chili!
Nom Nom Nom.
The rest of the night will be HBO-watching and snuggling with this guy:
I misinterpreted this face to mean: Please move. You are taking up my couch. I found out shortly after that it really meant: I am not satisfied with this end of the couch. Instead I will lay directly on top of you.
Last thing, a side-note on my obsession with HBO shows. WATCH THE NEWSROOM. If you do not have HBO, get it, and then WATCH THE NEWSROOM. Possibly one of my favorite shows of all time. Had me hooked 5 minutes into the season premiere, and every episode was fabulous. Sadly, it’s over for the season. But that means you can watch the whole first season in 11 consecutive hours! OK GO
Right now I am on the second season of Bored to Death on HBO OnDemand, thanks to my brother’s suggestion. Quirky and funny. I also recommend it.
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